Well, here goes. I should note that Maureen is actually the older sister of the lad who is intended to be the main character/protagonist/hero/whatever (my imaginary book is *not* about lawyers). But I like her, so I don't mind starting out here with her.
Have at it.
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snippet now down. Thanks for the comments!
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2 comments:
Excellent! I really do enjoy your writing style. Loved the "fishbowl" description and backstory.
Generally I liked the description of Maureen. Only constructive criticism (and I may be alone here) would be the stark dichotomy of the reaction to and treatment from the managing partner's secretary by Maureen. While the descriptive writing was great, and it would probably work for the larger audience, female big law associates would probably be a bit more middle ground on it, both in the internal reaction (though wonderful, surely it is not the first time she's been asked to do something demeaning like that, at least if she is of my vintage) and the the willingness to hug the secretary after the affront. Maybe I'd think of it more as treating it with a resigned sadness, instead of reating to a ridiculous insult. I do appreciate the idea of the whole thing though. Wonderful interplay of the generational thing with inherent firm structure. You can take my reaction with a grain of salt, as I know that most readers would not be looking at the scenario through my lenses, but it comes of as a bit extreme on both fronts to me.
Again, though, overall I love it. The whole BSD/800 Lb Gorilla thing goes right past me (other than from the boards) but that is probably because I'm not a litigator. Or in NYC. :)
Thanks for the comments.
I especially appreciate the critique of the reaction of Maureen -- her overreaction, really -- to the request to bring in the coffee. I will adjust in the next draft. Maybe tone it down, maybe provide a rationale for why this time in particular it bothered her, etc.
No 800 pound gorillas in your (almost former) firm? I do not believe it. The biggest one I knew was neither a litigator nor in TCOTU. No rainmaker with a big book who gets what she wants by mere hints?
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