Trump. Covid.
But that is not why I am back on Blogger. No, mes amis, your boy Jackson is no longer married. (Well, technically he's still married. He and the ex signed a separation agreement. But you )
"What happened?" I hear you all ask. “How did you become single?”
“Two ways,” I reply. “Gradually, then suddenly.”
(apologies to Mr. Hemingway)
Careful readers of this here blog will note that I have been a bit less than fully committed to my marriage. (Insert joke here re the difference in the roles of certain animals in a breakfast of bacon and eggs. The chicken is invested, but the pig is committed.) I was invested in my marriage, but not committed.
So what happened? What caused me to, as old J. Alfred so eloquently put it, to dare to disturb the universe?
I didn't. Or if I did. it was in the self-sabotaging passive aggressive shitty way that men often act. Reader, I engaged in emotional affair (sadly not the first) and did not use a burner phone or properly delete texts. I acted, in other words, much like Marcus, the protagonist in episode one of the second season of HBO Max's "Love Life." (Except that Not Jackson is no William Jackson Harper, the excellent (and secretly buff!) actor who played Chidi on The Good Place.
Was it an unconscious choice to be caught? As much as I'd like to think that I am not that much of a coward, I can't discount the possibility. I'm not that thrilled about what that says about me. But I am relieved that the whole thing was brought out into the open, and I was able to honestly say that I was unhappy and that I didn't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. However long that might be.
So, I am single. And I am dating for the first time since Ed Meese was attorney general, which is weird. In many ways, I am a 19 year old trapped in the body of someone, well, older. Until quite recently, I didn't have any experience in dating as an adult, much less in experience in dating in this era of apps and instant contact. It's a bit strange.
Anyway, maybe I'll be better at updates. Or maybe not? Who knows.
